"Accelerate the inevitable. Be yourself as quickly as possible because it’s all going to come out eventually. There’s no valor in putting on a brave face, it’s a mask like any other. Have the courage to be vulnerable."
2. Be honest
"Telling the truth is so much easier—every lie requires a lifetime of maintenance."
3. Be alert
"Don’t paint the red flags white. Complacency leads to avoidance, avoidance to withdrawal, withdrawal to resentment, resentment to adultery, and adultery to divorce."
4. Fight Fair
"Getting along is easy; you need to learn how to fight fairly and productively."
5. Make an effort
"Unconditional love is for children and pets. In romantic relationships, you have to earn it-and re-earn it-all the time. And that’s a good thing."
6. Talk about sex
"Discuss the dirty. Know each other’s sexual boundaries. Explore the fantasies, whatever they are, because if you don’t they’re just going to get played out somewhere else.
7. Sweat the small stuff
"Death by 1000 paper cuts is far more common than getting stabbed in the back. At some fundamental level we are what annoys us, so if something is bugging you, say it. Nicely."
8. Stay true to yourself
"Compromise is essential, of course, but it’s just as dangerous to compromise too much. You can’t fundamentally change who you are to please somebody else and nobody can do that for you. It’s best to love with abandon, sure, but you can’t abandon yourself in the process."
Steampunks don’t always walk around wearing their full Steampunk finery, so how can you tell whether someone is a Steampunk or not? Here’s a tongue-in-cheek (and yet 100% true!) guide to help you determine whether someone you know is a Steampunk.
They may be a Steampunk if….
…their eyes light up whenever someone throws something metal away. …their everyday clothes are several decades out of date. …they adopt an English accent for no discernible reason. …they wear goggles but don’t actually need them. …all of their plastic items have been spray-painted to look like brass. …they own more than one hat that isn’t a baseball cap or a fedora. …many of their stories start with “I was in the workshop and…” …they eschew a wristwatch in favor of a pocket watch. …they use words like “eschew”. …they own more broken than working clocks. …they own more books than movies. …….most of which were written more than a hundred years ago. …they take pride in how old their belongings are. …they own more than one set of cufflinks. …they know what a cravat and/or bustle is. ……and the difference between a gear and a cog. …their Nerf guns are all in various stages of being painted and/or taken apart. …their ears perk up whenever someone says the word “esteem”. …they have a crush on Nikola Tesla. ……and they get angry whenever someone mentions Thomas Edison. …their wardrobe consists entirely of shades of brown. ……and yet will tell you that brown isn’t the only color in Steampunk. …they use a smart phone, but it has a wood or leather case. …they visit their local thrift store more often than their local department store. …they’ve picked up something someone has thrown away and said, “Oh, I could make ___ out of this…” …they visit the hardware or sewing supply store more often than the grocery store. …they work odd historical facts into every conversation. …they used to drink coffee, but now exclusively drink tea instead. …even their underwear is historically accurate. ……or only their underwear is historically accurate. ………or their underwear is so concealing that it would qualify as outerwear. …when they refer to The Wild, Wild West without the word “bad”, they mean the TV show from 1965, and not the 1999 movie. ……and likewise when they refer to The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, they mean the comic books and not the movie. …when they wear Steampunk clothes, they insist that it’s an “outfit, not a costume”. …they carry a cane, but don’t need it. …they own a parasol, and don’t refer to it as an umbrella, or worse as a “sunbrella”. …they don’t like anise, but cultivated a taste for absinthe. ……or they drink vodka screwdrivers just for the name. ………or they’ve learned to appreciate the taste of gin. …it never occurred to them to wear their corset under their clothes. …they are convinced that they alone know the true definition of Steampunk.
If more than five of these apply, the person in question is probably a Steampunk. If more than ten of these apply, the person in question is definitely a Steampunk.
If more than twenty of these apply, the person in question doesn’t need a list for other people to know they’re Steampunk, because they ooze it out of every pore!